Interview Woes

I swear, there's an "interview gene" and I don't have it. I can be perfectly personable, and make some facsimile of witty, intelligent conversation when I'm talking to Joe Shmoe coming through my line at Wegmans, but during one of the few times in my life when someone's actually judging me on the basis of my ability to conduct such a conversation, my vocabulary shrinks to that, charitably, of an mildly illiterate 12-year old. Normally, words take the freeway out of my mouth, zooming off my tongue so quickly that they cause some head-on collisions on the way out, but during my interview, they seemed to be content with dawdling along on the back roads. Apparently they had better things to do than help me in my time of need...traitorous little things, they are.

But if you think a few errant words are bad, then you should see the state of so-called ideas! When they're entirely unnecessary and gratuitous (i.e. my contemplating what a great reality show could be made out of an on-campus scholarship competition...I mean, really, bring that many type-A personalities together, offer money and academic opportunity, and watch the sparks fly) and those mischievous little buggers are the equivalent of mental weeds -- they pop up everywhere. During interviews, however, I guess they decided to spite me, hiding just beneath the soil with only their googling eyes tantalizing me from above the ground- giggling at my floundering misfortune.

If I start sleuthing around in search of a silver lining, I suppose I could find one in just how SPECTACULARLY I bombed the interview...at least I went down with a full-throated laugh line in the back ground. Within the first 60 seconds, I somehow managed to misunderstand the stock market, mispronounce one of the interviewer's names, and unintentionally misconstrue the benefactor of the scholarship as deceased, when he's still very much alive and kicking (probably in my direction, not that I blame him) at 72.

Next week, I have a series of interviews, these ones on-campus, at a school I absolutely love and would give (almost) anything to be able to attend. Maybe another silver lining of this cringe-worthy experience was that now I know my own weaknesses, and, hopefully, can avoid these rookie pitfalls next time.