Grocery Store Rules

This is just going to be a quick little rant-type blog, because most of what I have to say in the way of intelligent dialogue came out in my blog on Blogspot earlier today. For those of you who don't know (which is about 99.9% of people reading this, I would think) I work at a grocery store as a cashier. Glamorous, no? Actually, it is a pretty good job, except for the fact that I've been working long hours recently, and dealing with the pre-Easter rush. Coming out of the frustration of today, here are 5 rules to follow if you don't want your cashier secretly plotting ways to poison your food using only the materials provided at a standard cash register:

1. Don't ask for "paper inside paper" bags. Really, it's not necessary. Unless you truly want to pack your entire order of 30 items into a single bag (thus pretty much ripping your arm from your shoulder socket) there is no reason why you can't get by with a single layer paper bag. Here's a suggestion: how about you get two paper bags, fill them quasi-equally, and then you won't fall over when you're walking down a set of stairs because all your weight is balanced on one side!

2. Please figure out how to use a credit card. I'll let it slide for the 80 year old, but if you're a twenty year old guy, I'm sorry, but you have no legitimate excuse for not knowing how to slide a credit card through a slot that includes diagrams. Come on, you're a member of a consumerist generation, if you don't know how to work a credit card, what hope is there left for a completely soulless, materialist world! *sarcasm note*

3. Don't speak to me as though I have the IQ of a rock. I'm aware that I'm working at a fairly "no-skill-needed" job, but last time I checked, neither hospitals nor law firms hire sixteen year olds. I'm doing what I can, and even though I'm going to respect you even though I may want to bash you over the head with an oversized squash, you can at least pretend to reciprocate the favor.

4. Do not ask me where the chive-stuffed olives are. I work in the front end, not grocery. I am a part-time teenager; I am not omniscient (although I can bag at a surprisingly quick rate of 17.13 items per minute! XD ) ! I know that it's supposed to be my job to know where everything in the store is, but the grocery store I work at is roughly the size of some smaller European nations, so that's a bit of a dilemma.

5. Don't haul your cat litter/water bottles/charcoal/ice up onto the belt: I have a remote scanner, I can just get it in the cart! Exciting as it is to have to field 40 pound items rolling towards you down a belt, it would just be easier to deal with them in your cart! Besides, if I wanted to join a weight program, I join one!


Peace. Love. Happiness.
~Cody